nah i’m good
also what is this thing that is supposedly in my inbox?
nah i’m good
also what is this thing that is supposedly in my inbox?
Oksana Badrak is an extremely talented illustrator and concept artist from Moscow, Russia. She creates dreamy pop/kitsch imagery using mixed-media – this approach consists of a rich combination of digital technology with meticulously hand painted elements. The resulting surreal imagery presents a fantastical visual experience made from various amalgamations of graphic fiction and tightly rendered reality. Her work’s inspired from everything from Asian supermarkets to the Southern California desert. This creates a very distinctive style; it fuses an enticing and balanced landscape of pop-culture icons with organic world depictions.
This goes out to all the cis people who, it’s quite obvious, want to help and befriend trans people, but who keep alienating and angering us instead. I’ve seen the befuddled looks on your faces when this happens, and I thought I’d try to clear a few things up for you. Let’s look at some common scenarios in which well-meaning cis people screw up with the whole pro-trans thing, and look at how some of these could go differently:
Scenario: You see someone whose gender you can’t determine just by looking at them. You want to make sure that you’re respectful of their identity.
Wrong Way to Ask: "Are you a man or a woman?"
Phrasing it this way will put the trans person on the defensive, and make them feel like you’re questioning and possibly even attacking their gender. It can also make them feel highly insecure about their gender presentation.
Right Way to Ask: "What pronouns do you prefer?"
This phrasing makes it clear that you intend to respect the person’s gender identity, regardless of what they look like. It shows an acknowledgment that the onus of respect is on you, and not their presentation or “passability”.
Scenario: You have just made an insensitive joke about trans people in the presence of your trans friend. You didn’t mean to hurt them, and you weren’t even thinking about them when you made the joke, but now the relationship is strained and you want to try to repair it.
Wrong Thing to Say: "Come on; it was just a joke! Lighten up!"
This tells your friend that you don’t take their pain seriously, and that you don’t think they should take it seriously either. It sends a message that trans lives and trans experiences matter less than your feelings of guilt and unease at being called out.
Right Thing to Say: "That was really thoughtless of me. I’ll try not to do it again."
Nine times out of ten, your friend will know you didn’t mean to hurt them. Most people don’t. But they need you to understand that you have hurt them. They need you to know this, not so you can stew in guilt, but so all involved can heal and move on.
Scenario: Your trans friend doesn’t “pass”. You think you can see what they’re doing wrong, and you want to help.
Wrong Thing to Do: List off all the things they’re doing “wrong”, and tell them how to fix them.
Trans people’s self-esteem is rocky enough as it is. By focusing on all the ways in which they look different from cis people, you are not only causing anxiety and dysphoria for the trans person, but also reinforcing the idea that trans people are “lesser” or “fake”. Besides, your friend may not even see “passing” as a desirable goal, in which case you are getting up in their face for no reason at all.
Right Thing to Do: Mind your own damn business.
If your friend wants you to help with their image, they will ask you. Regardless, respect their gender identity unconditionally.
Scenario: You’ve messed up a trans person’s name/pronouns. You didn’t mean to, but you can see the anguish on their face, and you want to make things right.
Wrong Thing to Say: "I’m sorry; it’s just that you’re still [previous name] to me!"
Of all the things you could possibly say to a trans person, this is among the most hurtful. It’s one thing to struggle to accept someone’s identity; it’s quite another to impose the wrong identity on that person in order to excuse your difficulty.
Right Thing to Say: "I’m sorry. I’ll keep trying."
Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has difficulty adapting to a major change in another person. What’s important is that you try, and that you correct yourself when you mess up. That’s all anyone can reasonably ask; at the same time, it’s the least you can do.
Scenario: You’re framing a health issue in terms of a specific gender (e.g., framing menstruation in terms of women), and a trans person points out that it isn’t necessarily unique to that gender and/or that they’re being left out of the discussion by your framing.
Wrong Response: "Well, BIOLOGICALLY speaking, it really does only affect [gender]."
Framing gender solely in terms of biology is always hurtful to trans people, no matter what the context. It’s even more hurtful when people who are strongly affected by an issue are deliberately erased in discussions of it.
Right Response: "Good point. I’ll try to remember it."
We’re all soaking in narratives that mash all the complexities of gender into two discrete categories, so it’s understandable that you’d initially think in those terms as well. But expanding your mind is never a bad thing, especially when it means including people who need/deserve to be included.
Scenario: You’ve known your trans friend/relative by one gender all your life, and now, all of a sudden, they’re asking you to call them by a different name and pronouns. This comes as a shock, and you feel like you don’t know them anymore; you feel like they’ve died and some new person has taken their place. Yet you want to stay in relationship with them, somehow.
Wrong Thing to Do: Categorically refuse to respect their request, insisting that it’s too difficult and hurtful for you.
Your trans friend/relative has taken a great risk by revealing their identity to you, and they’ve done so because they want and need to stay in relationship with you. For you to refuse to accept them, for you to prioritize your (relatively smaller) pain over theirs, is terribly cruel. Your pain is absolutely valid, but this is not the way to handle it.
Right Thing to Do: Work out your grief issues with a counselor and/or with cis friends, away from your friend/relative.
The person you thought existed is gone, most likely forever. This is going to be very tough for you to deal with, and you absolutely do need to deal with it. But the person who does exist, the person you’ve loved, will need your continuing love and support — and that person is not responsible for your healing. Do whatever you need to do to get to a place where you can relate to them respectfully and lovingly, and do it without placing additional burdens on them.
In short: respect us; care about us; treat us as equals; be willing to learn; be willing to grow. Once you get the hang of it, it’s really not as hard as it seems.
dragons that live in volcanoes and coat themselves in lava
dragons that live underwater and have fish scales instead of dragon scales
dragons that live in fields of flowers and breathe out avalanches of flowers instead of fire
DRAGONS BEING COOL AS SHIT
Dragons are cool.
Posed Ray is pretty cool, candid Ray is much more fun though.
even when i wear “man murdering winged eyeliner” and “the blood of men lipstick” the fact is the makeup industry is
- owned by men
- run by men
- marketed towards women to attract men
It all depends! There are many, many, many resources for makeup that are made and run by women, you just have to do a little bit of looking!
Makeup Geek is one of the most professional I know of, with Marlena’s products tending to equal the quality of high-end things. Eyeshadows and blushes are her specialty, but the brushes are pretty good too. Also, there’s a ton of tutorials for anyone new to makeup.
Aromaleigh is founded and run by Kristen Leigh Bell, and frequently donates to charity - right now, I think they’re running a campaign for Golden Hat, since Bell is autistic and thus it’s a subject dear to her. Really good mineral products and lots of unique shades of eyeshadow! Plus, they’re all geek themed. You may have seen photos of the Hannibal collection floating around Tumblr.
Mally Beauty is run by Mally Roncal, a WOC, and is pretty dang successful! (Darker-skinned people: I believe you can actually find shades of foundation that suit you here, but I’m not sure - worth a look if you’re having trouble, though!)
And, like, you’re never going to be able to escape and operate outside the patriarchy. That’s kind of the point of the patriarchy. The best you can do is use its own tools to dismantle it from the inside over a long time, shifting the balance of power. Which is what women are doing when they are redefining the meaning of makeup for them, saying that it doesn’t matter to them what men think of it, calling their eyeliner man-slaying. And it’s what all the women I pointed to above are doing, taking a bit of that industry for themselves. It’s a slow, multi-pronged process, but it’s a big problem to tackle.
the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.
America’s fifty states have a lot in common, but if their internet search histories are any indication they also have significant differences. Estately ran hundreds of search queries through Google Trends to determine which words, terms, and questions each state was searching for more than any other. The results ranged from mildly amusing to completely disturbing. No doubt this information will come in handy for anyone trying to decide which state they want to buy a home in, especially for those curious how their potential neighbors spend their time online.
He wasn’t ready…
I’VE WATCHED THIS 18 FUCKIN TIMES AND I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S BETTER THE NOISE OR THE FUCKING LOOK HE GIVES
I don’t know what I was expecting but it turned out much better than i could have asked for
Mohammad Domiri, a talented architectural photographer from northern Iran, takes stunning photos of grandiose mosque architecture throughout the Middle East.
Middle Eastern architecture is often recognized by its elegantly curved arches and spiraling columns, which feature heavily throughout Domiri’s photos. Many of the historic sites Domiri shoots are decorated with colorful stained-glass windows, geometric decorations and painstakingly detailed mosaics, so he shoots with special wide-angle lenses to make sure that he captures all of these details. Because they are historic structures, many of these mosques also impose heavy restrictions on photography – making photos like Domiri’s very rare.